Letter To the Editor

We quit team sanity. You heard us. We give up. Were going to take our ball with us and leave. Were retreating to the enchanting forest of Looneywood to dance with the bouncy little elves that live there while they sprinkle sparkly dust over our heads. Wheeee!
Weve had enough of this whole functioning member of society thing. Its too hard. Phone bills. Tuition. Traffic jams. Telemarketers. Tying shoelaces. Remembering to wear pants. Its too hard. We just dont understand how you people keep it up. Honestly. 
Don't you ever give in? We mean, for one second, don't you ever get the urge to fling your hands in the air and run around screaming in public places? How about that guy that called you up and told you that your tuition payment was late, or your house was on fire, or your cat just picked a fight with an elephant and won't be coming home in one piece? Don't you ever have the desire to scream gibberish into the phone until you pass out from lack of oxygen? And if you do, how do you stop yourself? Why do you stop yourself? It seems to us that best way to deal with feelings like that is to let them splatter all over the room like someone threw a hand grenade in your morning oatmeal, so you can spend the next few hours happily licking the substance off the walls without any concerns about how the RA might react.
Oh well. Weve had enough. Soon we shall retreat into incoherence. Its warm and safe there, far from the rules of language and grammar. Or bills. Yuck. 
Sanity just never worked for us, we suppose. We really just dont see the point of it anymore. In fact, it was always quite uncomfortable, in a tight itchy wool sweater that was knit by your stuffy old grandmother kind of way. Or an afghan. Full of holes and yet warm. Makes no sense. But then maybe thats what makes them warm anyways. Oh well. So long, coherence. 
We quit. 

