Fresh out of rehab (the third time is the charm, apparently), Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have finally settled their divorce.  Conflicting reports state that Kevin will either get $1 million or $13 million.  The Star is also reporting that Kevin will get $500,000 for each year of their marriage; half the proceeds from the sale of their Malibu mansion (on the market for 13.5 mil); $25,000 a month child support until the boys reach age 18; and custody of the children 4 days a week.  Kevin also gets to keep all the gifts Brit gave him (motorcycles, a Porsche, diamond jewelry, etc) and he is forbidden to write a tell-all book about their marriage.   During the meeting, Britney reportedly told Kevin, Youre the biggest mistake I ever made, but thank you for my babies.  If shes so thankful for them, why does Kevin get them 4 days a week while she only has them 3 days?

Ron Jeremy, porn star and name-dropper extraordinaire, could face battery charges stemming from an incident at the Exotica porn convention in Miami, where a woman filed a police report claiming that Jeremy grabbed her boob and signed it without permission.  Jeremy is denying the claim.  Ron Jeremy is such a sleaze now that Im surprised people dont file charges against him just for being in the same room as them.

 Mariah Careys name has just been added to the list of people who should never have children.  She has been spotted visiting Mexican orphanages and is possibly interested in adopting one of the children.  This is the same woman who sleeps with 20 humidifiers in her bedroom and who described the bedroom to a magazine as Basically its like sleeping in a steam room. The bed is all terry-cloth, the ceiling is pitched so the water cant fall on my head, and it drips down to my side, and the TV is behind glass.  Jessica Simpson is also on this list for saying that her dogs are putting [her] into the maternal caregiving mode.  Does Jess know that babies cant be stuffed into an oversized Louis Vuitton bag and handed off to one of her bodyguards?

Mandy Moore broke her ankle while jumping off a boat at a magazine photo shoot and was spotted wearing a boot cast and limping around LAX airport on Sunday.  Boot casts will be the next big fashion statement but dont forget that I started it all!

Paris Hilton has been spotted all over LA sporting either the most amazing push-up bra ever or a set of brand new boobs.  She was also spotted by police, driving on a suspended license (which is a violation of her probation) and faces three months in jail.   The spokesperson for the prosecutor stated, We are confident that we have sufficient evidence that her license was suspended at the time she was driving and that she had knowledge of that suspension."  Maybe if everyone focuses their energy, we can work together to make sure this privileged do-nothing gets whats coming to her. 
