The Splendor of Voting (and registering to do so)

Ah youth, a time of carefree living and blatant ignorance.  You could repeat any number of political ideologies picked up by your innocent little ears that you thought made sense, and nobody could complain about it because you were too young then to vote anyway.  But now you're 18, and whenever you say anything slightly disagreeable, the disagreeing party can shoot you down by pointing out the fact that since you don't vote, you shouldn't complain!  Then you think to yourself, 
"My goodness, they're right, I don't vote!  Why, imagine the difference I could make to American politics if I did!  Why didn't I think of this before?  I'm gonna get this country back on the right track!"
Woah, hold on there my revolutionary friend.  Aren't you forgetting one thing?  In a country such as ours you can't get away with making yourself heard without having to deal with at least a tiny slice of beauracracy.  You have to register to vote.
For years there have been organizations that were created to convince young people of the joys involved with voting, such as the ridiculous flop "Rock the Vote", which is still around today.  Interesting celebrities, such as Samuel L. Jackson, have been trying to persuade you to vote.  Why?  Because then you can complain about the way politicians are running our country into the ground, even if you voted for them!  The beauty of voting is that nobody has to know who or what you voted for.  Why stick to your guns and look like a moron in front of your educated college friends when you can say things like, "this is why I voted NO on issue 47!"
And registering to vote isn't hard, in fact it only takes a few seconds.  When I turned 18, I marched over to the Secretary of State's office (located behind the K-Mart here in town), and slammed my fist on the desk, proclaiming, "I'm sick of the way this country is being run!  I'm gonna turn things around here!  Sign me up to vote, I'm ready to make a difference!"  The young lady working there pointed me towards the back of the line and I apologized for my behavior.  When I finally got around to registering, all it took was a drivers license (or state ID), and proof that I live in the town or district where I was registering to vote. 
And for those of you unable to make it back home in time to vote, there's a way to bring the joys of voting to you!  It's called the absentee ballot, you probably heard the phrase used several times during the last election.  You may vote by absentee ballot if you are 60 years old or older, unable to vote without assistance at the polls, expecting to be out of town on election day (this one is probably you), in jail awaiting arraignment or trial, unable to attend the polls due to religious reasons, or if you have been appointed to work as an election inspector in a precinct outside of your precinct of residence.  
To request an absentee ballot, write to your city or township clerk, stating one of the previously mentioned acceptable reasons for wanting an absentee ballot.  The request will be filed immediately, and a ballot will be issued to wherever you need it.  Then, on election day, you have until 8 p.m. to get it back to the clerk's office.  Make sure you sign it too, because they match it up with your signatures on file (which is, to me, perversely intimidating).  It's a race against time, I know, and it seems like a lot of work, but it is worth it.  After the votes are counted and your party has lost or won, you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself.  You'll think, 
"I did the right thing.  I 'rocked the vote!'" and then you will laugh hysterically.  It's a good feeling, the feeling of democracy, and you'd probably enjoy it.
